So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
