12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
