Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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