His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
