did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
