If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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