singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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