someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
