Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
