Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
