It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
