so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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