either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
