I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize