I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
