my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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