dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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