I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
