She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize