Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
worst night to have a conscience
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
