I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize