Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
