think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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