On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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