i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
