tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
