I must be too annoying 4 u.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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