Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
