just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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