Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm sobbing to NWA
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
