Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
