I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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