when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Randomize
