What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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