I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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