This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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