I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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