why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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