No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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