yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
