I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
