I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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