ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
