buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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