Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
