I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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