the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
