I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
