Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
