i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
