I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
