I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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