I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
