some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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