I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
