SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize