so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We named our party play list daddy issues
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
