New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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