i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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