If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
