I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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