no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
