somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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