It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
