Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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